Eeeek! I honestly cannot believe I start nursing school in a month- I have SOO much to do!

Most importantly I need to find somewhere to live! Thank goodness I have a mandatory orientation meeting July 30th which gives me an excuse to miss work to look for apts and learn more about what nursing school will require.I decided the best solution was to make an excel spread sheet of the complexes near school-that way when I am down there I have the information I need to make a decision. I am so excited to go scrub shopping- mind you scrubs are NOT IDEAL back to school shopping but I have honestly been dreaming about the time I get into nursing school and have to go buy my scrubs for 2 years now. To actually have it happening seems so surreal and exciting!

Enough about school for a minute- I do have a life still besides getting ready to move and start nursing school. I have really been slacking on healthy eating habits- SOMEONE hold me accountable PLEASE!! I have however been better about getting in daily exercise this week :) At least that will KIND OF cancel out my icecream sandwiches and dino-chicken nuggets.  I have been cleaning a lot to get ready for packing. I found a gem of a CD- GREASE SOUNDTRACK. Only a few of my oldest friends would truely understand how signifigant that is to me. When I was living in California Jessica and I would literally rock out and dance to the ENTIRE CD. I have listened to the CD 20+ times since I've discovered it and still am jamming and cant get "The One That I Want" out of my head. (which Im not complaining about!)

"You better shape up because I need a man- and my heart is set on you. You better shape up- you better understand that to my heart I must be true....Youre the one that I want, oohhhooohoooo!" This wraps up the story of my love life. <3 ahhaha

I am officially starting nursing school August 20th. Eeeek! I can hardley wait!! Orientation is July 30th and I seriously cant sleep because I am SOOO excited.


In the mean time I have a HUGE list of things to do:
-find a place to live!
-figure out the furniture situation (ie-BED!)
-clean out and help my mom get my room ready to become a guest room (sad right?!!)
-pack
-figure out some other things for when I move: job? (will i have time?) gym etc.
-enjoy my last few weeks of easy and relaxing life- nursing school is going to kick my butt!

***and I'm going to love everyyyyyyyyyyyyyy minute of it <3

Sorry about the lack of new blogs lately- like i said earlier, I had pneumonia.

A couple of weeks ago we went to Austin, TX for a Erika's wedding. It was such a beautiful ceremony and reception. As I sat there I was so impressed that I couldn't even think of a part of the entire wedding I would have changed (minus the church differences!). She blew me away- I have always said I want a small, simple wedding reception that is very laid back and intimate, but her gorgeous wedding and fun atmosphere maybe made me change my mind...who knows! good thing I have plenty of time to change my mind. The wedding events started off with the rehearsal dinner which on a boat cruising Lake Austin- the food was good, and it was really fun because we were out late enough to watch the bats fly from under the bridge. (A Texas tourism thing) The next day was the wedding at a huge gorgeous church- this really made me appreciate how I have been brought up and really cherished my relationship with the church and the sacred nature of our temples. Although the church she was married in was BEAUTIFUL and grand, i felt blessed to know that through living righteously I would be able to go to the temple someday. Before the ceremony Erika had slide show of pictures and a girl singing beautiful songs before the wedding started. (SUCH a cute idea!) The reception was at a golf course on Lake Travis which is SO pretty- a beautiful scenery. At the reception the tables were decorated with simple flowers that were stunning. I loved her wedding and am so glad I got to be there for the weekend. I love Texas and miss it SO much.

I am waiting impatiently for the mail to come each day- the only things that come for me are my stupid credit card bills. (which are paid off by the time the bill even comes to me, which is why its stupid!) I keep having vivid dreams that I get a letter of acceptance in the mail. The letter always starts of "Congratulations Natalie Zahajko we are proud to announce your acceptance into Provo College Nursing Program for Fall 2010". Yes I have it memorized now because I have this dream once a week. Keep praying for me- Ill be sure to let you all know how it turns out. :)

Having pneumonia sucked- worst way ever to start the summer. I went for a run along the Cedar River Trail and came home SO light headed and sick that I couldn't move or anything. Assuming it was simple dehydration I laid in bed for a few hours drinking gallons of water. When I didn't get better and developed a SERIOUS cough- to the point where I struggled to breathe. Work was miserable and I kept going to try to conquer this cold. However, after my shift on Sunday (yes I know I was being punished for having to work on Sunday) I was determined to go to the doctor on Monday to get medicine to help me get better. (which is a big step for me- I dont like going to the doctor unless I KNOW i am not getting better without medicine) Turns out after some chest xrays I had full blow pneumonia, and it was so severe that my Oxygen levels were drastically low and I had several infections in my lungs. The doctor showed my the xrays which was really interesting and then prescribed my some great medicine. Thank goodness for medicine! I am feeling a lot better today (a week and a few days later) but still have a lingering cough- I am hoping that goes away soon :) Love you all! more updates soon! **i mean it this time

xoxo
N

pneumonia.

Lately I haven't felt like blogging at all (which means too much is going on in my head- that its too hard to put my thoughts into words) So is my best attempt to sum it up

I am not the typical Mormon girl (sorry if this is offensive and stereotypical but i feel like since I'm LDS i can be!) I am in absolutely no rush to get married and do not feel the pressure to have 10+ kids. To be honest I haven't even (seriously) thought about dating in the last 2 years. Being 21 (almost 22 this year) I am starting to feel like I am truly understanding myself and growing into the person I want to be. In Mormon time line I am basically an old maid and should have 2 kids by now; but I couldn't be happier at where I am in my life. School really has become my #1 priority. Achieving the academic goals I have set for myself have been so hard, that I really gave up a lot of my social life. I guess meeting the right person really changes your perspective- Recently I have had a reality check and been reminded of the importance of balancing your life and marriage especially. Yes- nursing is still my #1 priority but I think I need to remember that I can't shut out guys and a social life until I achieve my goals.


I also am struggling with the whole nerves of nursing school applications. ENOUGH said.


These last 2 years I've really been in a funk in every way possible. I say I'm doing better and doing great but honestly there are days I wonder how I got where I am- and why life has to throw so many curve balls. Freshman year at BYU really changed me- for better or worse I am not at all that same girl. I have to realize that and accept it. I used to be such a care-free, optimistic and outgoing person. Freshman year I learned a lot about myself and the "real world" and how relationships with people (boys and girls) work. I know it sounds so sinical to say that I have a chip on my shoulder from these experiences but I like to think of it as my "Princess blinders" have been removed. I used to see only the good in people, and the world. Now it's been replaced with disappointment, deceit and pessimism.  All of those words are generally associated with bad things- I don't mean to sound like a bitter old maid, but those words have changed me. I see the world for what it really is- Lately I have really come to accept this transformation in myself. I no longer have to wake up and tell myself "today will be a good day"- just to fool myself into thinking it will be. I look forward to getting up and living life again.


TO BE CONTINUED...

Lately things have been CRAZY! Sorry I haven't been up for blogging at all, I find it the hardest to blog when I don't even know how to express my feelings. I think that is the time when blogging is the most helpful, there's something SO therapeutic about witting your true feelings.

Last week was a really crazy emotional week. I knew that the test was really stressing me out but I didn't realize how many petty stressers I have in my life as well. I really learned how to focus- and not let anything keep me from getting what I want. There's a Miley Cyrus song called Dont Walk Away: It is so perfect and sums up the beginning of my week.
"I've been runnin in circles all day long
I'm out of breath but I'm still going strong
I'm gonna get'cha yeah no matter what they say
You think I'm losing but I always get my way"
I realized that people love to see you fall, they love to think they are the most important part of your life. You think I'm losing but I ALWAYS get my way." <3

I turned my cell phone off on Wednesday- to help me focus! After I got to Utah I went to my Aunt's house and stand studied for a few hours and then went to bed! I woke up nervous but feeling a little anxious, and ready to get it over with. I kept telling myself this test was just the way to show how hard I've worked let me SHINE! I drove to the school and got there early (thank goodness!) and did a few things like paying fees, and signing in for 20 minutes and then had another 20 minutes to calm my nervous and regroup before I started the test. I don't think I have ever felt so calm walking into take a test before.

After the test- which was 5 hours (+1 hour essay portion) and BRUTAL, I went to Cafe Rio. Which if you know ANYTHING about me this is heaven on earth (well tied with nordstrom!) I felt SO brain dead and honestly think if anyone asked me what my name was, I wouldnt even know how to answer it. I took the Cafe Rio back to my aunts house, ate, and crashed!

The next day I woke up and got ready for Steph's bridal shower <3 I absolutely love the entire Holt family, it was SUCH a blessing and miracle that Brit and Suzanne were there that same weekend. The shower was nice and had lots of great food to tempt me. I gave in and had a piece of coconut cream pie-omg and it was WORTH everyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bite! :)

After the bridal shower I drove out to Provo, I was able to see a few friends from Fall for a little while and then went to meet up with old friends from MV. It was SO much fun seeing Lindsay (and Nate). We went to Inn-n-Out which was divine. It totally reminded me of California beach outings when I was little. After a longggg night I went home and crashed.

The trip was really nice and rejuvenating. I really felt like my growth and progress really came full circle on the trip. I am so grateful for all my wonderful friends and family that have supported me. I love you all.  

4 days...

I am so ready for this. NOTHING is going to keep me from getting my dreams.

"Something has changed within meSomething is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down

There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity" -Defying Gravity (Wicked)

Yesterday my brother and his wife got me beautiful flowers for mothers day. <3 It was the perfect timing, yesterday was a hard day, BUT life always seems to bring you up when things are down. I am so grateful for my brothers. (and their wives) This will be a good/productive week! After this weekend I will be done with my applications and be able to relax for a little while. Adventures are soon to come :)

xoxo

N