Saturday, January 28, 2012



<3 forever a daddys girl

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


One of my favorite quotes is "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince charming". Here is my tribute to some of the frogs and some prince charmings I didn't know I was kissing.

Dear boy I never treated right,
We met in high school and were both so young and didn't know love yet. I do know that I loved seeing you and being young and wildly in love. Your family was amazing to me and always made me feel so welcome, and even let me beat them at sorry. I loved watching shrek with you on your couch wishing I could freeze time. Unfortunately my  immature traits were the center of our problems and the reason we didn't last. I sent mixed signals, I didn't show you how much I care (I don't think I recognized how much I cared), I got upset about tiny things and always seemed to find reasons we shouldn't be dating. I never treated you the way you deserve, and to this day I still feel terrible about it. You were there for me throughout the years and hearing from you always puts a smile on my face. It reminds me of some of the happiest days of my life. I am so happy for you and am grateful I still have you in my life. People say you never forget your first and I know I will love you forever.

Dear BYU lover,
You scared me off. I wanted things to work and I really liked you, you just came on strong and had a lot of baggage. You talked about outer appearance and took longer to get ready than I did. Im sorry I ran away from BYU without really giving you an explanation, nobody deserves that. I'm sorry...

Dear Vacation romance,
Things happened so fast. We had an instant connection, and I knew from the moment I met you how wonderful you are. I remember watching your lacrosse game thinking- he is so cute I hope we hang out with him this week. You blew me away with how masculine you are, but yet surprisingly the sweetest most caring and compassionate person I've met. You saw the good in me (maybe even more good than actually was there!) I talked to your friend even when I was wanting to know you better, I didnt pay enough attention to you that night at the party and I know I've apologized 297383923839x but I'm sorry I was so awful when you flew out to visit. I know you've moved on and are so happy (im so happy for you!) but I still haven't forgiven myself. Sometimes it's still hard for me to talk to you because I feel like such an awful person. You are one of those guys girls dream of and I didn't treat you the way you should have. I'm glad you don't hate me- I still hate myself for how I made you feel.

Dear Mr wrong,
You were wrong for me from the very beginning, and deep down I knew it. You dont have the same ambition and morals I do. You see girls as entertainment and are always looking for something bigger and better. I admit I've played with the idea that you've changed but guys like you don't change.

Dear TRUE love,
"I dare you to let me be your one and only. I promise I'm worthy..." You swept me off my feet from the moment I met you. For the first time in my life I imagined a life together and starting my life with you. Youre the first guy that I gave my heart to, and fully loved. You know me better than i know myself sometimes, you know when Im upset, you make me feel beautiful even when I am in sweats and no make up, youre strong (both spiritually, physically and financially and personally), you always make me laugh and feel so comfortable. Sometimes I wonder if it was possible to love your family and dog as much I love you- but your family swept me off my feet just like you. You are everything I've always wanted to find in my husband, and I know I would have been happy with you forever. I know the year was full of ups and downs but I hold on to the special moments we had. Looking at the lights and snuggling after and talking openly about our future and feelings was a night I'll hold onto forever. I hope one day that you'll realize how much I loved you, and know that I would have done anything for you. Now it's time for me to take my heart back and nurse it back until I find someone who will cherish it. 

Dear Friend,
We've been friends for 5 years. We first met and you were the most arrogant and cocky guys I've EVER met. We got to know each other and you always were there when I was breaking down from school, friends/mean girls, or family issues. You always knew how to calm me down and cheer me up. A year ago I finally got the courage to tell you how I really have felt about you for the past 4.5 years. I wish I could take that back- the 6 months we didn't talk after because you felt bad were hard on me. I missed you. I'm glad we talk and I have you in my life. We always end up laughing and talking into the middle hours of the night, and end the phone call with me talking like a phone sex operator (even though I never manage to say anything and just laugh!) I will always wish you felt the same way about me but am so happy to have you back in my life!

Dear Neighbor,
You wanted me when I was a total brat. I wanted you when you weren't interested. For 5 years you say i didn't give you the time of day and was a jerk, well your 5 years of playing me and being a jerk are up. We have had so many lost opportunities and the last time you totally blew it for me. You were seeing another girl and making out with me at the same time. Ew! (not to mention the kiss we had on alki the NIGHT before you got together with your ex!!) Lets keep acting like well hang out when I'm in town and catch up, but in reality we've grown so far apart. Last time i was home I had a great time seeing you- but when I get home I know that all it will ever be is a fun night. 

Dear Friend-zone,
You blindsided me during finals. Out of 5 years of being friends you said you want to date. I agree with everything you said that late night on your couch, I just worry you see me as a checklist. I always have fun with you and think you're an amazing guy- and am excited to see where this road might lead.  I've always told you to date "quality girls" I just never expected her to be me.

Dear Rat-pack,
You are one of the smoothest, charming guys I've been with and I see why girls fall hard for you. I know you are a good guy and have the best intentions, I just wish things with us played out differently.You showed up at a time when I swore off guys and cured my jaded heart, you were so incredibly passionate, and romantic! I never knew how you felt and was confused which made you confused and frustrated.  Timing is everything. Who knows where the future for us will lead but I know that you'll figure out how to become that amazing guy I know you are. 

Dear Missionary,
It is so weird to think that its been over 5 years, and we only have known each other for such a short amount of time. I don't think things happen by chance and things with you lately have been too coincidental to be just by chance. Thank you for always making me feel special and beautiful.  I am excited to see what will come. 

Now I holding out for a hero.

"where have all the good men gone?...isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need. I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero til the end of the night. He's gotta be strong. He's gotta be fast and he's gotta be larger than life....isn't there a superman to sweep me off my feet"