Good Things Are Attracted To A Good Heart- Natalie Zahajko

Lately I haven't felt like blogging at all (which means too much is going on in my head- that its too hard to put my thoughts into words) So is my best attempt to sum it up

I am not the typical Mormon girl (sorry if this is offensive and stereotypical but i feel like since I'm LDS i can be!) I am in absolutely no rush to get married and do not feel the pressure to have 10+ kids. To be honest I haven't even (seriously) thought about dating in the last 2 years. Being 21 (almost 22 this year) I am starting to feel like I am truly understanding myself and growing into the person I want to be. In Mormon time line I am basically an old maid and should have 2 kids by now; but I couldn't be happier at where I am in my life. School really has become my #1 priority. Achieving the academic goals I have set for myself have been so hard, that I really gave up a lot of my social life. I guess meeting the right person really changes your perspective- Recently I have had a reality check and been reminded of the importance of balancing your life and marriage especially. Yes- nursing is still my #1 priority but I think I need to remember that I can't shut out guys and a social life until I achieve my goals.


I also am struggling with the whole nerves of nursing school applications. ENOUGH said.


These last 2 years I've really been in a funk in every way possible. I say I'm doing better and doing great but honestly there are days I wonder how I got where I am- and why life has to throw so many curve balls. Freshman year at BYU really changed me- for better or worse I am not at all that same girl. I have to realize that and accept it. I used to be such a care-free, optimistic and outgoing person. Freshman year I learned a lot about myself and the "real world" and how relationships with people (boys and girls) work. I know it sounds so sinical to say that I have a chip on my shoulder from these experiences but I like to think of it as my "Princess blinders" have been removed. I used to see only the good in people, and the world. Now it's been replaced with disappointment, deceit and pessimism.  All of those words are generally associated with bad things- I don't mean to sound like a bitter old maid, but those words have changed me. I see the world for what it really is- Lately I have really come to accept this transformation in myself. I no longer have to wake up and tell myself "today will be a good day"- just to fool myself into thinking it will be. I look forward to getting up and living life again.


TO BE CONTINUED...