Lately things have been CRAZY! Sorry I haven't been up for blogging at all, I find it the hardest to blog when I don't even know how to express my feelings. I think that is the time when blogging is the most helpful, there's something SO therapeutic about witting your true feelings.

Last week was a really crazy emotional week. I knew that the test was really stressing me out but I didn't realize how many petty stressers I have in my life as well. I really learned how to focus- and not let anything keep me from getting what I want. There's a Miley Cyrus song called Dont Walk Away: It is so perfect and sums up the beginning of my week.
"I've been runnin in circles all day long
I'm out of breath but I'm still going strong
I'm gonna get'cha yeah no matter what they say
You think I'm losing but I always get my way"
I realized that people love to see you fall, they love to think they are the most important part of your life. You think I'm losing but I ALWAYS get my way." <3

I turned my cell phone off on Wednesday- to help me focus! After I got to Utah I went to my Aunt's house and stand studied for a few hours and then went to bed! I woke up nervous but feeling a little anxious, and ready to get it over with. I kept telling myself this test was just the way to show how hard I've worked let me SHINE! I drove to the school and got there early (thank goodness!) and did a few things like paying fees, and signing in for 20 minutes and then had another 20 minutes to calm my nervous and regroup before I started the test. I don't think I have ever felt so calm walking into take a test before.

After the test- which was 5 hours (+1 hour essay portion) and BRUTAL, I went to Cafe Rio. Which if you know ANYTHING about me this is heaven on earth (well tied with nordstrom!) I felt SO brain dead and honestly think if anyone asked me what my name was, I wouldnt even know how to answer it. I took the Cafe Rio back to my aunts house, ate, and crashed!

The next day I woke up and got ready for Steph's bridal shower <3 I absolutely love the entire Holt family, it was SUCH a blessing and miracle that Brit and Suzanne were there that same weekend. The shower was nice and had lots of great food to tempt me. I gave in and had a piece of coconut cream pie-omg and it was WORTH everyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bite! :)

After the bridal shower I drove out to Provo, I was able to see a few friends from Fall for a little while and then went to meet up with old friends from MV. It was SO much fun seeing Lindsay (and Nate). We went to Inn-n-Out which was divine. It totally reminded me of California beach outings when I was little. After a longggg night I went home and crashed.

The trip was really nice and rejuvenating. I really felt like my growth and progress really came full circle on the trip. I am so grateful for all my wonderful friends and family that have supported me. I love you all.  

4 days...

I am so ready for this. NOTHING is going to keep me from getting my dreams.

"Something has changed within meSomething is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down

There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity" -Defying Gravity (Wicked)

Yesterday my brother and his wife got me beautiful flowers for mothers day. <3 It was the perfect timing, yesterday was a hard day, BUT life always seems to bring you up when things are down. I am so grateful for my brothers. (and their wives) This will be a good/productive week! After this weekend I will be done with my applications and be able to relax for a little while. Adventures are soon to come :)

xoxo

N

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah)

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah yeah ea ea)

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Dont judge me! I absolutely feel every word of this song. I can ALMOST feel my dream of being a nurse, but there are ALWAYS doubts in my head. -Is this the right choice? Am I going to get in? Am I smart enough? Will I make it? Why cant I just get it?! Why not me? This song really reminds me that I need to focus, and "keep the faith" because there will always be another MOUNTAIN. It will always be an "uphill battle" and sometimes I will have to lose, its about the climb. ENJOY LIFE <3 Thanks to my family and friends who are always encouraging me and keeping me positive. I love you all.

XOXO
N

I failed miserably at being "on my own" and I blame Dante! :) He is so cute I honestly couldn't do anything because ALL I wanted to do was play with him. I learned a lot about life this week though.

1. I respect single moms- how do they get ready for the day and not be consistantly 2 hours late for everything?! 
2. I am not fit to be a parent/or even a pet owner for a few years- or atleast  until school/work calm down (so much for getting my kitten)
3. I don't do well at multi-tasking

This week I am going to get a lot done- For reals this time :)
I am going to finish my psychology study guides which aren't due until May 21. I am already more than 1/2 way done! I hate this psychology class, I feel like it does nothing for me and my nursing path but yet its still required. My teacher reads her slides and is very uninformative, going to her class is by far the biggest waste of time. This week I will actually go to class and finish the study guides.

My intercultural communications class is possibly a bigger waste of time than lifespan psychology. It is at 7:50am too which is like 10 strikes against it :) I need to finish my quiz for that class and email it to my professor. However, he doesn't give us instructions or guidelines for ANYTHING so I'm not really sure what I am supposed to be doing.

The TEAS test is also coming up (time is flying by unfortunately!) So this week I am determined to finish reading the English portion of the textbook, as well as the grammar. I have already started my anatomy flash cards (THANK YOU JASON HAWLEY!) 2 hours a day! (SOMEONE HOLD ME TO THIS!!) I  have my ticket booked for Utah May 14 @2! I am so glad I'll get there early enough to sleep well and calm my nerves. This test really is HUGE and is going to make or break me, start the prayers. :)

Enough about school though. Work has been SO slow lately, which is always a bitter sweet because that means I get off early but yet never make my typical money. LAME! I went to sushi on Friday (first friday I havent requested off and got off in FOREVER!) which was like always SO good. It seriously makes my week when I go to trappers. LIFE CHANGING <3

xoxo

N